The Importance Of Being Jerk.

      You shouldn't forget your emotions while being a rational person. I know that rational thinking is considered mature, logical, or even a valid one. But how many people behave rationally while promoting rationality.
     Alright, first of all, I'm not here to give you any life hacks; It is something that I've experienced very precisely. I've spent a lot of time in isolation, trying to avoid people at my own secluded place. But unfortunately "there is no such thing as absolute isolation in existence" ( I quoted Tagore here). A point comes where you have to face society because society needs you and you need society, and when you spend a long time before stepping out to meet the faces, then boy; it really is a hard job. It is really difficult to synchronize with people, even in their general conversations and thoughts, even people you knew before. You feel they weren't the same before, that they seem to have acquired entirely different notions, sometimes a little above your comprehension level. You don't understand the references, you don't get the jokes, you don't understand the level of their sarcasm, even sometimes you don't understand whether they are talking literally or metaphorically. And when this happens then the sense of alienation strikes you so hard that the courage you've had gathered together vanishes entirely, and the level of your confidence drains to the level of an absolute zero. And you feel the utmost urge to go back to your own secluded place. But still, if you decide to face it, with your whatever left teeny tiny  0.0001 % courage; things start to fuck up more amazingly. You begin to think a lot, I mean a lot before you speak, hoping not to fuck up or end up sounding like a fool. You try to use your words carefully so you wouldn't hurt anybody. But, you know? Overthinking before saying something is as bad as not thinking at all. And you fuck up; yes you do. And you start to consider, even call yourself dumb to justify yourself, even before they would call you, or wouldn't call you at all. You do the same with your emotions. You bury them deep down, and you try hard to become a rational, logical person. You start to tolerate things a lot that you hardly say 'NO' to anyone. You develop this intense attitude of being a patient person that you can wait hours for them, and for you, they wouldn't even wait 15 minutes, and even in those 15 minutes you ask them 10 times; "hope you aren't getting bored."
        It's a good thing, in a way that you begin to understand life when you start thinking about small things, but it's worse when you overthink them, and those small things become a huge burden, and you begin to consider life is nothing but a huge burden. When you develop this extremely tolerant and patient attitude, people begin to take advantage of you. And at a point when you get the idea of this order, you begin to feel that you shouldn't be that practical, like a robot; then your buried emotions erupt like a volcano and again you will be getting looked at and laughed at for becoming either a maniac or an entirely different and angry person. Hence you shouldn't forget your emotions while being a rational person.
         There are very few people, very few who could understand the real you, and to have them in your life; you require a great amount of fortune. 
         And you can't change people's mindset so don't even try to. Here is an example - Last year when some of the Bollywood actors got exposed and interrogated by the police for consuming marijuana; So many people including many friends of mine tagged them, "Nashedi Bollywood", "Ganjedi Deepika", but many amid them are fans of Snoop Dog who (smoke weed every day), and Dan Bilzerian ( Instagram him and you'll find the pictures of him smoking the weed rolled in a dollar bill, and him amid the buttocks of many women). Now I don't have any problems with his or her lifestyle, but people's level of hypocrisy. So it's always better for you to be yourself.
         They hate you if you smoke, but idealize these people's behavior, they talk shit behind you if you drink alcohol, but really admire 'Kabir Singh,' and some even get inspiration from him. I don't understand this. What's more fascinating is you can talk shit about them, but not about their inspiration. Idolatry is again something common in India. It doesn't matter where the icon belongs to, whether it's, politics, movies, or cricket (I should've used the border term which is 'Sports,' but since it's India, Cricket it is {Bye the way, I Love Cricket, and movies, and politics too} ). Just try to tease them criticizing their idols, just for fun, and you'll be touching their nerves, that they are even ready to break friendship with you. Sadly, people don't understand the concrete existence around them, the real people who would help them in crises, who are there if they need any kind of support. The extreme level of this, which I've recently witnessed, is when so many people died because of covid and government's incompetency; Modi received criticism from all over the world, but still, many people didn't like the fact. 

Alright, this is it... this is it for now. And like always, I intend to write something else and end up writing something different.

Anyway... Adios.