First Day of Home Quarantine ...

This is the worst summer of my life. I never thought that this could ever happen in reality. The entire nation is in lockdown for 21 days. This virus came from china is making humanity pay for its sins. Yes, a Virus named Novel Corona and it's spreading everywhere, not just in our country but everywhere, and it has taken 14 thousand people's lives, and I have no fucking idea about what's gonna happen in these upcoming days. Nearly 4 lack people got infected in the whole world. Now every person who has this hypersensitivity and a bad habit of overthinking is worrying as hell about his life and what's gonna happen in the future. It gives solid anxiety to me. This is not the summer that I had expected, this the most unexpected thing that ever happened to me. There is no vaccine, so staying at home to take care of yourself, and others by not going outside is the only option now. 

So much uncertainty, and no slightest idea about the future.

Hope is the only thing that I have now, and not just I, perhaps the entire humanity, which makes things much more scary. Nothing is scarier than human lives completely depending on hope. It's funny that how easily we talk about death, even on tv shows and in movies they easily show it to us. I mean this the last part of our life and after it there is nothing, nothing matters as much as when you have life. Perhaps it is easy to talk about death or watch it on stupid tv shows until you face the real fear of it. The reason I'm talking about this with utmost intensity is the time around us is probably showing its the most worst side that it has. If there is any magic in this universe and if only it works when the necessity is at the highest point, then we need this magic now.. right now. 

If I look back at my life then I can see how stupid and useless it was, and still, it is. I never managed to do anything, even the things which I wanted to do the most and to be the best at it. I always wanted to write, but in reality, you can see how bad it is only when you actually try to write something. Then you realize how bad you are at it, and with everything. Every fucking thing that you wanted to be best at it. I mean every little thing, Your confidence, talent, physical strength, mental strength, grades, getting laid, getting love, public speaking, speaking when it's necessary and unnecessary,  small talks and long conversations, ability to learn, to be creative, self-control, and every fucking little thing that had happened in your life, and still happening. You are bad at all of these things, and you try to improve yourself but still, you are bad at it too and fail every fucking time. And now you are in the middle of this global crisis, under a huge dark cloud, not just on your head but on the above of the entire humanity and now you want to improve your fucking miserable life, and still, you don't know that you will succeed or not...I thought of writing something different but here I end up writing something else. I end up writing about my fuckin misery...... Now what I have is hope or some questions.. are you going to live your life at its best? or will you fail again and show the world how fucking miserable fuck you are, who doesn't know how to win.........

The major symptoms of this covid shit are dry cough, cold, and difficulty to breath, and for the few past days, I've got this dry cough that I can't get rid of, which is making me more anxious and perhaps destroying the only obscure thing that I have is Hope. Now is it possible to find another new hope?  Just, to keep this hope alive. 

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